The most beautiful

A gift from the divine on this earth
All everyone searches for
How do you know unconditional love

A station hall hidden with wood
The airport welcomes you with water and it’s animal
I hope to walk through these doors with you

I was 16 when I took the plane for 9,5 hours
A destiny I revisit in my dreams
The journey of adolescence

My history mends with your past
All the beauty we lost
Finds us back together
Loving your ways

Adore you,

Shivafeli

Normal life confusion

Without you, am I?
Bring

me

down
Observing you as meditation
Walking slowly and secure

Again touched me
Unconcerned movements
Music and the rythm of how we breathe, speak
For I desire more than is given when comes to you
For I need to constrain the playfulness I feel

I need to not need you again
Rationally see that the high of love does not end in a depressed feeling
The normal life excitement is less euphoric

Run a marathon
These thoughts of you pop up and they bring me energy
For the good or the bad
I could feel this way forever

Hormones does not stay in the body for so long
Something decided to love you unconsciously
In a way as I need to learn how to truly love

Let me observe and copy
The lovely energy filled divine athlete
I admire
I will want to trust

Adore you,

Shivafeli

Garbage can

I thought I knew you better than this
The cold of 9 degrees in Celcius makes me feel alive
I work hard at this temperature
My body feels at ease

This autumn is different from all before
I see it as when I was five yet I feel it as if were today
The first day ever to appear

Scandinavian restfulness it is or adjustment
I hope I will become more organized with the years or is this chaos who I am
Let me miss you one day further

Kiss me on my lips
For I need to forget and walk away
Love you any day of the year
As if it was the first

Adore you,

Shivafeli.

Impossible to attain

Don’t spend too much time
If they make you feel alone
Watching the city rush by at this hour warms me more than this strange family
Am I the only one who desires fire in conversation or love in more than holding hands
The warmth I find within
Humans can not reach me unless I let them in

I prefer to be alone
It is less lonely
Such a loyal company as dogs one will never find

I will sit out my time by seeking fire from within and doing all I want to do
For lust and future comfort I can not find anywhere else but inside

I adore you stranger with the beauty of the sky in his eyes
Thunder, rain washed of with clouds struck by lighting
You have touched me and will never reach me
As I admittedly promised my love to elsewhere

If you decide to take me, you would take the best of me
I would never look at trees the same way before

Standing in the shower crying away my agony if we shall ever depart
How can I connect when I can not say goodbye
Is it better to have not physically loved and be whole at heart
I do not wish to live a bitter life

The mystery of your eyes is more than enough, it will build me up year after year
Each autumn will remind me of a new part of you
I think I need to be untouched for the rest of my life

How can one make a rational decision with thy heart?

More than love, something, I won’t unlock

Adore you,

Shivafeli

Thinking

I heared nothing
The suitcase is too big
I haven’t slept yet

The pain is on the rails
Strolling along
The footsteps on the mat
If you ever
Sing along with me
Pause at the same moment

I was holding your hand but you were barely holding mine
Focussed and loyal

Is there someone?
Love as long as he does not pass me by
Learning to leave with the shade

Moving on, your life has been blessed from love from within
It hurts to think what I think
Loyal broken my heart

You are the someone, I need to walk away
For I will hurt by what I see

Adore you,

Shivafeli

Not as positive as an arrow

It is alright
To stand up and walk outside the crowd
Einzelganger
The desire to be alone
Walking away from negative context
Do not feel so connected

Take away their control
Ignore them
Ignorance is blissful for topics repealing the surface of the skin
Especially if a rainy days feels as mind free yet full
The traffic connecting with nature
Nature always wins

Outgrowing parents
Walking a different road
Overcoming difficulties
Still arguments will come and go
As we have to wake up from our different views

Familiar faces are not in thy heart as they used to be
I care more for science, nature and my perspective on the bible teachings
Life as I feel should be
I can not change negativity not even my own
Fire is fire and water will mold explosions
Walk away and let them say
Let their words hit the atmosphere to never return in your heart again

Let them go
The woods you have played in as a child are still the same only now you can see more dangers
Than playful activities resulting in adventures
Step on a branch to hear the noise, as you never looked down so close to your own feet
So much is happening around you
Think about the outcomes before colors reach your eyes
I wore different glasses as a child
Filled with instinct by divine feelings
Everything was intense as hours were seconds

The sound of fun, joyful in activities
I do not desire egoism in my relations to others
I have to go far away
Nor conversations that do not please me

I walk away
I reach for the mountains in Canada
Always covered with snow except some years

I want to place unflower beds in places I know they won’t survive
In silence I endure and try to wash off
Until I explode
It really makes me greatful that I can walk away

The fire of ice
Water in your eyes
Mold an archer
Able to kill as a nobleman
Adore you,

Shivafeli

Battle the darkgrey clouds

The sky is filled with grey, dark grey clowds
The sun isn’t touching me
Only a small oval is moving to the left
Ice blue covered by grey and white

Dark grey is the color speaking words to me
Even if there are frustrations
The key part is always pure
Intentions of your heart were given by heaven

What is my task?
For I have found what I desire in the blessing of a smile
A lovely voice I heared more than I had ever expect to

He has made me laugh from the purest part of me
The intention of heaven reaching earth

A genuine pure smile
Love

I adore you through my frustrations about lively topics
Through traffic jams and annoying public transport

I love you so much to forget all the metro stations when coats have been touched by rain
The delight of looking outside a train window and not thinking of you or anyone else

The energy of the universe is with me when I am close to you
An arcade of pure stilness and movements of love

I can cry today because of the grey yet smile again due to your blue

A white circle surrounds you and I wish you nothing but the best
The redness of my eyes fade easier as my emotions take place

I have been given so much more of your voice and smile than I had ever hoped. More than two years

I adore you from far away
For this blue is the calm to my storm
In silence I cherish

I thank you,

Shivafeli