Carelessly away she loves

The last time I saw your eyes staring at mine was today in my memory

Months ago
I feel so blessed to have encountered you in my life
I adore, lust and love this stranger
Heaven is what I see in your eyes

I love you
Without having kissed you
No certainty for the future
Your eyes have imprinted a mark on my soul
When things get though I think of how you look at me

It may not mean anything
You mean the world to me
Your presence, knowing that you are alive
I love you, you made me genuinely smile

I desire only you,

Shivafel

I will

Leafs on the window
the rain and speed of the bus makes it appear
Patterns can not be unfolded

The glass might break
Things will become better once the addicts, junkies, people who are destroying themselves disappear out your life
They never leave silently

I wish they would die
For a support they seek is only one God can give

Break down the dark thoughts of tonight
I am no longer a child
I build myself up with education
Shielded me from social gatherings

Focus on the positivity
The passions in your life
People are irrelevant and everyone who has ever treated you badly
Everyone dies eventually

Adore you,

Shivafeli

The dark thoughts of tonight

Why does money restrict humans of being alone
I want to live alone in a house
I can’t
I actually need money, currency

Yet I develope myself in a way with sports and studying
Even if I pull out a partime 24 hours job I won’t make enough money for the rent

Life is hard
I have struggled and will struggle again
Good grades, youth and health
I have ‘time’ without currency

I don’t have the money to live alone
In sickness and in health
I never had the choice for the family I was raised in
I never had a choice

And I wish I was all by myself, with money and.without family

I support them and take care of them
I do not need them

From one hell to another
I have become stronger
There is no folk song about the wise man as the happiest man alive

I could do so much better alone

I need to be alone,

Shivafeli

Lovely one

You ran with me through fields of flowers
Solely pure joy and love surrounds you
A soul touched and loved between heaven and earth

Oh lovely one
How I would have tried to sing lullabies till they would please you
The voice of heaven was given to you

Serene silence of your adorable laugh
I love you between the shadow and the soul
His promise, my beloved
Saved you from a pain

I feel your presence
I love you,

Shivafeli

The admiration

I have a heart occupied by a handsome, noble and disciplined man
Days and years from now
Waiting for an 2 hour trip
I decided to stare back at the one who was staring at me

I can’t seem to forget you
This doesn’t bother me, with life comes death and fantasy will be confronted with the truth
Years after and for different reasons you saw me again

No make up, wide clothes, nothing but my bare face and strong will
Your eyes lit up and pupils widened

Even though I felt the attraction
Even though I still do
I focus on the goals so I can grow
None of them contain breaking down my shield to others

An encounter less than a year after you did not pass me by
Only to greet me after I smiled to you with an open heart
You make witty remarks and were playful

Yet your eyes are shaped by the divine
Heaven is captured in you
You can transform into a beast
A switch only you handle

I feel love when I think of how you look at me
That day and the days I have been blessed to have seen you
Been in your presence

Your eyes have motivated me more to become the best part of me
Only now I seem to have lost the drive to do it for you

I do it for me, you have inspired me to become a princess warrior
While I still think you are the most handsome and athletic young man I’ve ever seen
I will never know if I am destined for you

I hope I am
For I would love nothing more than for you to be first
If Indeed.. you are able to love me with your soul

I act distant to protect my heart
Yet you have managed to pull through
I’m distracted once again

What if?
How did this young man managed to kiss me on my cheeks after calling me a more beautiful word than I’ve ever felt so divine by
‘Hello gorgeous’

I felt it
What if I opened my heart and smiled at you with no strings attached
No feelings hidden

And that was why you were able to enter
A private zone no one else enters

I adore you and hope you are safe
I might not be able to love you with my all, you did have touched my heart and let me learn about love

Without a kiss on the lips or anything more
You’ve transformed me
And for that I have grace

A friend forever,  between the shadow and the soul

Adore you,

Shivafeli

Oh

He placed a white wooden chair near the bank of the river
To be able to conduct a resort, getting along with the wind

A though young male who sees her soul

She desires nothing more than him today
Love and sex to forget the mourning
An escape of love for the pain of love
She dives deep down under in oceans of pain
Is endured by persistence
This time she is losing
She doesn’t want to swim back up
She misses her niece
A small child she cared for with all her heart
She was taken away, her mind now is far away

Take a dive deep down under
Not wanting to swim up

For never has the one, true love revealed himself to her
Alone she goes through the mourning
Alone day by day

Love… my God
Why have you abandoned me
My sister’s child has died and a part of me has died too
I feel tortured without the love of my future husband in my life
The support,  loyalty and love
I have dived deep down under and now even desire flirtation

Oh dear God
I have been faithful to your word so many years
And now I do not want what I desired before

All I desire is true love, a husband to cherish all my life
I feel alone

My studies and sports were fun for the time I did not know the pain of losing a child close to my heart
Her body and soul
I miss her
I still feel her energy

How come I seem to have lost your love?
I am torned.. oh my lord
I cannot accept what I cannot change
At ungiven moments I cry
Knowing I will never reach the love I desire
Alone

My soul has been cut
I adore you
I am hurt
Staring at your echos
When I hoped of kissing and hugging you one last time,

Shivafeli

Pray

You are my one and only
I hope there is a way to give you a safe and bright life
Heaven must need you
We love you with our souls

You are the closest to God
I love your mother and I love you

Your small bump
Please let her be save God

She’s so small and yet
Stronger than anyone on earth

Love her and embrace her with your all

In God’s hands we trust

I love you, for always and ever
You are the one and only
Your mommy and daddy loves you so much and the aunts and uncles, grandparents we are all hoping for the best

We put the future in you
Small bump that you are

Please let her be safe
If its heaven or earth
May she be protected forever

We love you so much
You are fighting
Our souls are with you love

Embraced by the souls who matter
We love you
You are the closest child to my heart

You can hear the heartbeat of my sister
I would give my world for you

Please be saved
You are loved from the depths of every heart
Your parents met as it was destined

They will always be there for you
Always
You will always be
Loved

You are alive
A small bump unknown
I know you will always live in my heart
Connected as one

I love you
The most beautiful angel
God protect this angel please
As her well being means more to the world

Days feel like years on earth
Hours in heaven

We love you
God please do what’s best for the child and don’t harm the parents
The family will always love this child

They are the most sensible and sensitive parents
God I love you
I pray for my niece and her parents

Your miracles have cured diseases before
I love you
Please let her be safe and loved
Your guidance and love will persevere