Always truthfully

I have had a little time to think it through
My opinion and reality changes
Over the wisdom of nature
Travels by taking the road unknown

Satisfied the pilgrim turns home to see their reality surrounding the road of footsteps
Rachmaninoff is the love of my ears

Adore you,



And on one day they were dead
Their energy could only be felt
Not seen
When life left her alone
She could only see the horizon

Whispers and mumbling were blocked by a great light
She needed to close her eyes to communicate
The key was her focus

No words
When I am around creatures who are touched by the divine
My whole body and soul is smiling
A divine energy

I am not supposed to touch or kiss you
Why would I ruin my admiration and sense
Study hard.. love in heaven
I will work very hard

So that your love does not led me astray
I give up on my desire for you
Admiration from afar
Walking away,



There was a moment
A moving moment of time that had an elapse before I could reflect
Wheels of time
Guarding as banks protect their gold, it spinned as dark colors faded by time or dust

The momentum I accepted the troubles I have been given
They became a blessing
INTJ personality? Well mathematics and physics as a joy forever
An hidden hobby at the expense of solely my imagination
For scientists place the rules of science online for everyone to see

No longer confused by different ways.of expressing and feeling emotions
Analysis of relationships have never worked and therefore will not do

I am willing to put everyone and everything aside for my career
Combining the subject of power and leaders with mathematics and physics that has never been done before

The tands on wheels protecting time… it took me a late puberty to destroy the incapable construction of not coping with my feelings
Awareness has raised more questions

I actually am convinced of what used to trouble me
Now has made me really see
That the rational approach I have towards my studies and research
Is better than the badly written, tiredness of not understanding strange feelings

I enjoy rational conversations

I don’t adore you and have only adored the fantasy of the utopia world you would hand me,

For I give up, if a soulmate exists irrationally it would know my cynical  behaving,


It’s the sky today

The lights were lit at a time the daylight was shining bright
Sun got us smiling today

It has lit me up like your smile used to do
It made me feel on top on the world
No insecurities
After I felt ugly around you for the first time, I never saw you since.. I needed time

A talk to the mountains
Nature and solemnly
With no words
Everything was given to me

An answer, the enlightenment

…. and weeks after that I never felt guilt for not stopping my brain to fantasize. .. I have never kissed or dated you… I have never been yours and yet I with my naive virgin brain had told myself mentally that I was yours

My.mind is stronger than the wildest for I have lost it all, even my faith before it was restored by God

Today I had a fantasy about two people
The special feeling you used to gave me was there
You were not in it
My brain used imagination to let me know that.I.could

The joys of love preserved to my heart
For it opens when God sees an opportunity or my eyes led astray

A fantasy for years has ended because you do not show that you want me anymore
It was all our chemistry was based on

I fell in love with the world and some of it’s people Today
To do good matters so much more
I don’t feel left out in life at any sense
I may never had a penis in my hand, mouth or intimate

Sure my time will come

I should never tell anyone I know that I’ve never was intimate with someone else than myself
I adore my body, face and soul

The older I become the more I value the happy spring feeling
And my fantasies
Ten years of loving myself

For my imagination is better than anyone has ever described how sex between to people is to me
I’m sure you need to feel it
And if it’s an energy felt as lovely as the orgasms I give myself are

Or even this combined with the sense of another’s body
I’m sure God will grant me the best

Adore you,


Ps. You just need to show that you want him or her

Break free

Time apart from home
Sore thighs, residence to the couch
A day for rest for the mind
Calmness, I hope to love you again

My destination has shift to the most important one
Jesus, interpretations of the scripture
I am so tired of not doing anything today

Lord I needed this day
Of being grateful for the accomplishments I made by grace of the lord
Today I saw that the desire for this young man was not a desire I would have while dying
I pray for his soul and that he may be the closest to the lord
I love you for that I saw the truth in your eyes

Freedom is being a slave to righteous
Do not be led astray

Adore you,


Maybe it’s just the way

I see you in my life to come
Oh Heaven
I wait with good intentions
Then is the passing over…

Something’s lost
My eyes speak volumes louder than your ears hear
I can’t get it right

Will you roll through this
Today is too long
Inexplicable attraction
I never could ignore you

Even when I try.. al my senses are focussed on you
Out of sight
Do not want to be heartbroken

Maybe you are the desire I have to recognize my real soulmate
This attraction could led me astray
Or point me towards you.. the dust in the wind

All of me brings me to you
My energy is felt
I love you as the last day on earth

You are my nature
I’ve hold your hand once
And I fell in love
I fell in love with you stranger at the busstop.. my brain.. my heart.. my soul they are all confused

You, not having my phone number, not taking me on dates, you reach me more with your eyes than anyone ever did

I adore you and I can not tell you this,



Glasses are floating down in this concert
Lenses walking in opposite directions
In a crowd I still seek your back peeking out of the crowd
I forget the frustrated energy addicts have when I dream of you

Two injustices
Equal in their pain, only God to tell
“Sweep away the coat of desires as if you are invisible”
I believe you know that I seek for you in dreams

I believe God knows this too
Above all my soul has never stopped to bring me back to life
The soul of my soulmate will find me whetherd it’s on this earth or beyond
It is difficult to stay away from you no more

I can turn my face and walk away when you come near
Whenever you are close
Others can see
How my eyes try to find yours

Or observe you..
I wish I could say it wasn’t so
The last time we met I didn’t feel special, I felt insecure

It is more accurate to say goodbye to something that never really was yours in the first
Disney I long for you,