Dear addict

It has only been a couple of days but she is drinking again
Left in the afternoon and have not heared from her in 24 hours
Dear addict,
Do not let the addiction play you as people have in the past
Do not close off your thoughts for the outside world of your loving family
Stop hanging around with ‘friends’ that buy you stuff and expect money in return
Dear addict,
You are part of my family yet when you are missing the thoughts of what could have happened to you still scare me
The evil grin on your face of satisfaction shows you seek excitement in all the wrong ways
Mentally ill
Traumatised perhaps

In numbness I hope today is not the day that I will have emergency services calling my door
Today is not the day I am telling others you were drinking again
Today is not the day that I wash away the fluids of your bottles with water
It is in the trash can and I’m not going through your stuff

You are Intoxicated and will do it again and again till you hit your lowest and then again and again

For I feel you embrace the victim role
You do all things, hang around with all the people that trigger this
You let yourself be abused

In numbness and sadness
The support system is thinking about feeling a life without making your life burdens as my own

I feel sick when I think of you
Yet I love you for you are a sibling
One of four, the only one who let others take advantage of her
Why oh why lord

Does this happen
She choose the road of the devil
Lying and manipulating
This struggle has been 8 years

How many more times she tries to assault me
Break down her home
Before she goes out on the street like this
Ruins her life

Why doesn’t she feel deep from the inside that she needs help and wants to change

One day I will say my last goodbyes
I would like to have the time for a relationship
Instead of trying to take care of you

I cannot help you anymore
Come to conclusions that all my hard work is worth nothing
Even the best support system can’t help you..

Get more help
Go to more meetings
Daily

My words are taken away by the wind
They have never reached you
‘Sorry but…’
You have never been truly sorry

Addicts can only feel their own pain.

It is hard, the support system needs rest too,

Shivafeli

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