Nudity

Sir of good will
I wake up to a nightmare
The one moment I am changing into my sports clothes
The next moment my nakedness is seen by everyone
I do not feel ashamed, weirded out by their reaction
After they saw me, their vision of the future changed

clothes were covering me
Isn’t the realness in my soul? Reflected through my eyes
I fell in love with a man of honor, ambitions
I don’t see him that often
More than once a year
I desired to only share my soul and body with him

Yet when his presence was lost
At the tiem I lost a family member
The desire for lust was thrown away
Ousted
A pearl is there for you at crucial moments

You seel his guidance and support at crucial times
I lost that platonic desire once more when I recognized the love I have for the one who I started shivafeli for

The man who will be in my will for changing my life for the better
His presence has opened doors, still is
I have this gift to fall in love with souls touched by the divine
Some become warriors of thy lord

Life is a struggle and I couldn’t describe a better life for me than the one I have right now
Realistically
There is significant chance he is not my man made in heaven

His handsome appearance and humor makes it very hard for me to forget him
I love him
In a very weird and distinctive way
I pray for him, for him to meet the perfect wife and have kids with, a dream life

I recognized something in his eyes and it won’t leave me, years before we properly met
We saw each at two different occasions during childhood and puberty
It does not make sense to me anymore

So I had to discipline my desire into a hope of good fortune to myself first
He will be alright
I will be perfectly fine

Just because you desire and see someone throughout special times in your life… it should not be labeled as love
Energy between two best friends is greater than love
love isn’t always on time, friendship is my dear

He may not be my lover, a teacher of life is of greater value
I am very proud that I put this desire aside
Only when he is present.. things get though
For I hate myself for not letting him in.. for ignoring him or walking away

I am a walking contradiction and I fell in love
Love at first sight
At a life changing moment of spirtual thoughts
I have come to realise that it was just a moment and feelings are what you make of it rationally

The comfort and safety I feel with you is in great contrast to the energy of lust and excitement I feel with him
Both men I have never kissed, I have thought about kissing them
Their souls have made an impact till this day

If I die tomorrow I might not have tried enough to communicate with him but I did..
Energy has told energy all of the words poets used, the description of holding gold for the first time
Focus on love in other aspects of my life
I have loved the lord throughout my darkest and happiest hours
And this love is a constant support

In stillness lays feelings
The water sees and doesn’t tell
Any of the passing travelers
Staring to see they have company

You are out of my mind, in my heart, written in ink in my soul

Shivafeli

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